DEATH NOTE : Fortune favors the brave
by goldenlilly11
Summary: My first story no flames! Its got everything u want in a story or atleast it will! Lots of parings! And action to! Misas evil! Near sucks! But dont worry cause Matt and Mello are in it to! What will happen? R and R some bad words and sexyness so no kiddos allowed lol Will update NEARLY lol everyday probally JUST READ IT I KNOW YOUR GONNA LOVE IT! KTHX lol
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Welcome to my 1****st**** fanfiction. It is Death Note and hopefully its gonna be good. Oh yeah I didn't make up the title I read it somewhere buts its cool title but I can't remember who did so thanks to the guy who did! Also I don't own Death Note.**

CHAPTER 1

It was raining very hard and L got rain on. He was very wet and his hair was wet and didn't look like it did usually. "Light Yagami, you are Kira!" he shouted.

Light smiled from the doorway. "Ryuzaki your 101% correct!" because he was.

The detective gaped in shock. "How could this be happening?" he wandered. "I fell into a tarp!" The Light walked over to him and said "Do not tell anyone or I'll kill you."

"Ok" said L because he's smart and doesn't want to dead.

"Yay!" cheered light. He did an evil laugh. And then danced around happy and then he hugged L but it was sort of awk so he stopped.

Then Misa apeared on the roof top. She had on ugly outfit that was slutty and goth but not the cool kind. It was ugly and she looked like a poser trying to look goth that everyone mad fun of and lolled at and poured there drinks on.

"OMG! Misa misa is sooooo glad L joined us!" she said perkily in an annoying preppy gross cheerleader voice.

"Wait I never said that!" L said but then Ryuk apeared and he had his death note and started writing L in it and eating an apple so he stopped talking.

"So L will join Misa misa and her darlingest bestest boyfriend ever Light and be Kira!" perked Misa and her stupid ponytails wavered around.

"Ok I'll do it" he said. And then they did ring around the rosie like they did in that episode where Light punched L. But since there was three of them it wanst gay or anything because L's not gay I checked. But anyway he was just faking it. And Misa looked like a rat that was dead and got wet to and her eyeliner ran in her face.

After words they went inside and ate strawberries except Misa because she's gross and had to eat nasty stuff like brussel sprouts instead. They started talking about Kira and then stopped cause of Matsuda listening in. They could of got him to join to but he was to dumb and would probably write their names in the death note on accident. Anyway then they went to bed and since L and Ligth were chained together the were in the same bed now.

Light looked at L sexily well at least he was trying to be that but L didn't see it that way cause hes not gay. "Now that were both on the kira side maybe we can date now," said Light taking of his clothes.

"No!" said L and tried to get away wich didn't work to well cause of the handcuffs remember? But Light didn't listen and started trying to do it with him.

"Are you gay," asked L.

"I am bicurious" said light. He is bi now cause Misa and him tried doing it once and it was gross but maybe that was because Misa sucks and she's ugly to

L did not want to so he did an karate kick thing and knocked out Light who went out like a light (lol) and he was on the floor. He got left there and just fell asleep after a while and L wondered what to do and the answer was there was none. He was smart but didn't know what to do. He was also hot which is probably why they wanted him in the first place.

He sat on the bed and ever time Light started talking he hit him in the head and yelled shut up and dint cry but wanted too. After sometime Misa came. She was wearing ugly slutty black loungery and also underwear.

"L do you wants Misa Misa?" she slutted getting on top. She smelled like dog poop and it was gross and L got crossed out and wanted brain bleach but didn't get any.

"No please leave you are making me intoxicant ," he muttered. Their was stupidity on Misas ugly face mixed in with the dumb and it was like 50% mad and 60% stupid cause she's really dumb.

Then she lighted (get it?) up. "Ok then, Misa Misa will just do it with Light instead!" she crowd. She woke him up and they stared doing it but not actually just fakin soz they could fool L cause of ther plan but he doesn't know cause he didn't watched. It wasn't sexy at all but would have been if Misa hadn't been there. L put a pillow over his head so he would not half to hear the screamy bits what were fake.

Then when they were done and Misa left and slided around the corner like a secret agent man but wasn't one cause shes a girl and also she sucks. Rem was waiting out there and when she got there making out happened.

(Oh yeah Rem's less ugly in this story so its not so weird ok. But even before shes prettier then Misa!)

"I love you Misa Misa," said the shinigami lady. "I like you ever since I stopped liking Ryuk and then I liked you instead" She stopped liking Ryuk when he went to shinigami prom which is like prom for shinigamis with an ugly slut shinigami and she had to go with Sido and he sucks. Then she decided shes lez (its cannon ok) and licked Misa cause shes uglier then most shinigami. No make that all shinigami. Even that dead skull dude.

Misa did an evil laugh like Alvin and the chipmunks. "Now Misa misa's evil plan gos into affect! And Misa misa can start into motion my plan to…take over the world!" she squeaked.

Rem smiled. "I love it when you talk evil. Its hot"

Misa kissed her back and then her shinigami girlfriend said "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"

Yes" and then they went. See she really is a slut!

Back in the bedroom L was still not sleping casue he never does and that's why he has panda eyes from not sleeping. Suddenly he got an idea and got his phone out and emailed Watari. Only he remembered the wifi got turned of at night so none of the police forces guys would look at p0rn and the NSA would probably think it was him or something. So he had to use texting instead so he did.

_Plz send help quick. Light is kira and I am under great duress _he texted out but since Misa's a b1tch she broke some of his phone keys of and he had a flip phone cause he's hipster so it got all messed up and kindof looked like _Pkz hppo nde qu_ and then some random numbers or something. He woulda added _Misa is ugly_ but he didn't wanted data charges. Then he hit send and the message sent and wooshed off into the night that was dark and stormy cause atmosphere pressure and also sexul tension.

TBC

**AN: Please read and review and no flames cause 1****st**** story rite?It's pretty in character atleast my friend that reviwed it said it is and there will be lots more chapters and will get better and also longer. Oh next chapter mello's gonna be in it and Matt to and Near even though I hate him!(But not as much as misa lol) **


	2. Chapter 2

AN next chapta comin ur way lol

chapter 2

OH AND BI THE WAY THERE LIKE 18 or sumthing cause I don't wanna write abouth dumb twelve years olds

AT WATARI"S HOUSE IN ENGLAND WHICH HE"S AT:

Watari was watching Whipeout and lolled at all the people falling off the big red bouncy ball things and was glad hes a rich old dude so he doesn't have to anything accept raise children that he adocted and sometimes molest them. His phone rung and he picked it up. It was the text that L sended him but since hes old he cant see so good so he though it said "I'm evil now and I joined Kira" idk he's kind of dumb.

"What the blather!" said Watari and blathered off into the other room as fast as he could which is not very fast since he stepped on Nears legos.

"OUCHIE YOU LITTLE ARSE!" he yelled and felled face first into the office of his partner Rodger. There both old Britishy dudes and they got married last summer in California and Near had to the bridesmaid and wear a dress cause he sucks and everybody lolled at him and then they went to Disneyland and he was to short for Space Mountain which douesnt matter anyway cause theres no good rides at Disney its for babies.

"what is it my beloved," said Rodger from where he was staring into the security camera that he put in the bathroom and noone knows about accept for Near and that's why hes so paranoid.

"That old gov'ner L is a corrupted sod" said Watari in a britishy accent.

"Does this mean…well have to do plan Z?" sadded Rodger. He was sad cause plan Z meant the sexiest kiddos in the house aren't gonna be ther for him to lear at any more and say creepy stuff to and steel their underwear.

Watari was smarticle and could read minds cause hes a inventor so he read Rodgers and said "Yes, but atleast well get rid off Near!" accept he said it loud on accident and everyone in the Watari house which was them Near , Matt, Mello, and some other kiddos who don't matter cause there dumb and not important and not sexy and every one laughed at Near cause they were glad hes going away.

Everyone was already there but the important peeps who are actually sexy weren't so he yelled there names real loud with a megaphone. "MATT MELLO GET UR ARSES OUT HERE" SAID Watari but there was no reply and he got mad.

"Where could those barmy whipsnapers be, I say?" roared Watari like an old lion that's old with a roar that no one can hear unless your next to it. No one new what to saw cause if they did Rodger would come molest them and noone wants that. Accept maybe Near but he doesn't count.

"There probably in the bedroom" said Near but noone cares about him. So then Watari got his segway that he used from when he was a mall cop and steam rolled right though the wall. Inside there was a bedroom with some stuff on the walls and beds and crap and most important there was Mello and Matt making lots of noise havin a good time. Ever body gasped. They werent being quiet at all and every one could see them and they didn't care cause there hot like that. They were…..playing Mario kart. Fun huh?

Watari was super mad and got out his battle axe and a taser. "What do u think you F-ckarses are doing!" he girdled. The two dudes looked up. Nows a good time to describe but anyway Matt was the one who looked like a bro but was wearin a fur vesty thing and Mello was the one who looked like a girl but was wearin a leather vesty thing. Anyway there both hot and that's the main deal. They were playin Rainbow Road cause there badass and winning except for Matt was about to win and then Watari drived over the xbox with his segway and the screen blacked out.

"Hey" said Matt madly. "You old bugger" cause hes British maybe

But Watari was splitting made and started trying to chop them with his battle ax and also he had a taser. "YOU NOW YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY MARIOKART HERE!" said the crazy old british. The reason behind this was cause Watari was real bad and always fell of the edge and never wined any races and hes the jealous type. "THIS IS THIRD DEGREE OFFENCE its not like you were just doin it together in a dorm or something dumb like that."

Rodger his husband nodded. "And now we have to fight you or you die" The dirty old dude hoped that hed get to mud wrestle them and see there sex packs with is like six pack but more sexier.

Mello looked kinda scared cause hes the girly on but Matt looked pumped. "Lets go," he said pulling a sawed off he got when they went to Compton when they were supposed to be at Universals studios last summer but that's another story out of his pocket. Mello got out his throwing stars and a katana and a molotof cocktail that was sittin on the table. (Theres foreshading here so look out! Or else it mite bite you later)

Watari flexed his old man arms and his arthurpedic shoes fell off and got replaced with spike boots with spikes on them for spiking peeps with and guns came out of his sleeves. He pulled another taser out of his wallet only this one was like three foot long and blue and gave it to Rodger who sneered leerily.

They got ready for battle. Mello and Matt new there honor was a stake and theyd get kicked outta Watari house if they didn't win.

"Wait cant we just talk this out" said a small squekish voice from the floor. It was Near but no one herd him cause it was time for battle and he got trampled!

"RARR!" yelled Watari and tried to do a ground stomp and make the fly into the air and get dead. The Mello throwed some stars cause hes a star or at least that's what his old granny in the old country used to say before he had to go live at Watari's and sliced the spikes of Watari's boots.

"O I have it up to here with you shinanagans!" said the old inventy guy. But then Matt shot him with his sawed of and so Watari tasored him and anyway the point is Rodger got dead.

Matt, Mello and Watari and Rodger were hot and sweaty except Watari whose was just sweaty cause hes to old to be hot and Rodger whos dead and Mello who doesn't sweat cause he thinks its gross.

Watari leaned over a cradled the dead body of his loved Rodger like in the anime where Lights holding L and everyone cryed at that part even Matt cause hes tough and also ther ship never sailed soz that's sad. Rodger died happy because he was gonna be a ghost and could go hide in peoples showers and never get caught but Watari didn't no that so he was mad.

"Get out of her you bloody bluffoons!" Watari yelled at the two dudes that killed his ladyfriend who was actually a pedofile who could only find a job at the Watari orphanege. "Because you are now fugitives and murders you snogwags!"

They looked at each other and cat each others gazes in a chemistryish moment. "We should run away together" said Mello.

"Ok good idea" said Matt. Then they went to go get there stuff which was all cool stuff and not boring like socks cuase they didn't wear them and no underwear either cause Rodger stealed it all. All the kids tried to follow them specially Near but they just kicked him.

As they were leaving Near tried to drag onto Mello's bag which wasn't a purse cause only girls have those and Mellos not a girl he just looks like one. But he's still hot so that doesnt matter.

"What we look like doesnt count an ounce," singed Near's dumb parrot named Bear cause it rhymes with Near until Matt punched it and it shut up. Then they kicked near off and he landed in pile of manure cause this is the English country side remember and theres cow poop everywere

Then they went to the train station and got tickets with the money they stole of Near and got choclates and cigarettes and a new xBox and iphone 5s and beats by dr Dre (not the Justin bieber ones cause hes lame) and Mello got some fashiony clothes that were like $5000 but in Britain money from Forever 21 across the street and also some ammo for Matt's gun cause it was running low and they might have to shoot up some guys. When they were done they had to wait for there train cause it was midnight.

Except for the train didn't come so they had to sit on the bench with some hobos that smelled like public toilets and one of them tried hitting on Mello cause they thought he was a lady so Matt punched them until they leaved him alone. Except tat one of the hobos stole all there money.

"What should we do now Matt" sighed Mello and rested on his arm all cuddly but that's okay cause there in England and noone cares what u do there unless its saying the queen sucks.

Matt was playing on his ds and didn't say anything but someone else did. "You should go try to find L" said a smallish voice from inside one of Mello's giant fluffly shopping bags.

Mello teared open the bag and inside was a small sheepy looking dude in pagamas in the midst of lots of Mello's midrift shirts. It was…..Near!

TBC

AN exciting chap huh? Lots of stuff happened but I havent forgot about romance there'll be more of that. Please leave reviews good ones!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks for good reviews you guys! I see peeps liked this story (accept the bad ones lol) Soz new chaps late but I had a math test and also psychics too do :( oh and for my reviewers I'm glad you liked it but its not supposed to be funny cause its not and also its messed up to show the harsh realty of Death note.

Chapter 3

AT THE YOTSUBA CORPORATIONS INC RIGHT NOW

All the yotsuba guys were at the table talking about some stuff that was boring. The fat one said "the down jones is going down (it's a stock market thingy)" and it was soo boring.

The one dude that's hot with long hair (AN cant remember his name soz) was bored so he looked at his iphone and got on tumbler cause facebook sucks and no cool peeps have it any more. One of his selfies got loads of notes like 100,000 notes which was way more then Misa who only gets like 2 on hers cause she sucks so he was happy then a noise came over the intercom.

"ATTENTION THERES BEEN A BEACH OF SECURITY PROTOCALL AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE BUILDING OR ELSE" said the roboty voice and all the dudes gasped.

They all had to leave cause if not everyone would now there kira so they did accept for Higuchy lefted his notebook on accident so he had to go get it.

When the got outside and went to got in there Bugatis the police guys were all there waving around there tasors and some dudes got arrested.

"Your under arrest" said Soichiro whose Lights dad hitting him with a baton. He had a segway just like watari's and drived over some people's feet but it was okay cause hes a cop so they can't call the cops on him cause he was one.

"BUT WHYYYY" whined Demikawa cause I remembered his name lol. "BECAUSE IM NOT KIRA HE IS" pinting at Higuchy who stuck out his toungue and ran away.

Soichiros mustache looked mad and he said "Of curse not. Some dude who looks like a girl just robbed a chocolate factory and your the prettiest one so were arresting you" Little did light's dad now…that it wasn't actual him but another girly dude whose sexy and also likes chocolates! Whose it? Its a surprise….

"YOU FOOL IM NOT PRETTY IM SEXY" said Demigawa. Matsuda who was supposed to be guarding him but got distracted by a pretty butterfly that flied past and Demigawa took his tazor and started tasing Soichiro with it. Only its not really a real tazer its fake cause Matsuda's to dumb for one and might shoot himself so it's a fake and didn't do anything

"OH sh-T said Demigawa "Now IM IN TROUBLE" and jumped into a Mercedes bens and zoomed away like 1000 miles an hour.

Soichiros mustache stod on end with anger. "Now your double arrested" he jumped on a motorcycle and chased him real fast on to wheels.

FLASHBACK TO 3 DAYS AGO AT THE TRAINS STATION THAT'S IN ENGLAND

Near jumped out off the bag of clothes and doged Matts punches and hidden behind a bench and some rats bited him.

"wtf Near" Mello wtfed and made sure none of Nears smell got on his clothes cause there new. "I though you were at Watari's house in cow manure you little sh-t" (get it?)

"No that was Linda" said Near and they all lolled cause Lindas almost as bad as Misa and shes a slut to and I think there related. But then Matt remembered it was near so he throwed some stuff at him and then they got in a fight. It only took like one sec cause Matts bad ass and Near sucks and hes a wimp and noone likes him. The hobos made a mob and hoped theyed take there clothes of (accept not Near lol) but then they got punched by Matt so they left and ate there rats and were good little kiddos but not since there hobos.

They were goin to leave Near to live with hobos but then the train came and they got on and Near got on to so there stuck with him. Near smelled bad so they mad him ride up on the luggage rack under all of Mellos shopping bags and he kept hitting the top of the bus and yelled ow (so just imagine he keeps yelling ow the whole time okay).

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Matt and choosed Pikachu.

"Idk let's go to America" said Mello boredly. He wanted to go to America cause theres lots of malls there and also he could go to Hollywood and get an oscar (IF THAT FAT B!TCH JENNIFER LAURENCE CAN THAN MELLO CAN TO) or atleast be in a commercial for mcdonalds or something.

"Okay great idea bro" said Matt who was happy cause he could go to gamestop which they don't have in England I think and also he could get another bigger gun to shoot peeps with and maybe a punching bag for when near wasnt there to punch so he could be like that Mike Tyson dude but with out a tattoo and not black and britishy and hot instead

It was like two hours and Mello practiced saying "I'm loving it" and then sang the songy bit really good on key and everything which I bet Jennifer Laurence cant do that and Matt killed like 500 dudes (not real ones in the game!). Then the conductor came.

"wheres your receipts (britishy for tickets i think) my bloody fine fellow and lady?" asked the conductor britishly.

Mello was mad cause Near tolled him his cousins Jennifer Laurence but Near lied. "excuse me you sh-t head but im not a lady" he yelled but was so sexy that the conductor died and no one cared hes not a girl (AN: he looks like one sorta if youve forgotten?) and Matt didn't have to punch him so he punched Near instead.

They were almost to America but than Near fell out off the window on accident and taked some shopping bags with him so they got off. Near fell like 100 feet and almost landed on the third rail but didnt which was sad and was on the ground and looked dead.

"OMG did my clothes get dirt on them" asked Mello stepping on Near to get to his clothes.

Near got up and saw a tv screen. They were at a train station but you could tell it wasn't British. Every one had hello kitty shirts and knee socks and anime eyes. You could see it was Japan.

They were…in Japan!

"Where are we" Matt lolled lighting a cigarette with a lighter that looked like a gun and putting his sawed off back in his pants incase he needs it to shoot some evil dudes or Near.

Then they saw the tv. It had an ugly lady on it doing the weather and she was ugly and her name was Takada. "Today in other news three convinced felons escaped from Britain today for murdering a old dude are now on the run today" and then the screen changed.

A picture came. The gasped. It was….them!

TBC

AN: MORE REVIEWS ALSO FAVES THIS STORY if not than you suck more then Near, misa and Jennifer Laurence PUT TOGETHER!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: THX FOR REVIEWER YOU KNOW WHO U ARE! Im kindof hyper cause I watched some videos on youtube. Also I drawed a picture of Matt and mello but its sucks but I might do L next!

AT TASK FORCE HEADQUARTERS HQ in like 4 hours from now

L was very sad because Ligth and Misa were kidnapping him but theu didn't actually take him anywere so I guess its not really kidnapping anyway they didn't give him any candy and made him eat veggies. Noone noticed since the police force guys were doing policy things like arresting dudes and shooting stuff up accept Matsuda accept for he forgetted how to use a phone to call the police cause he's to dumb and also he forgot he was one. And Watari was busy in British so he couldn't do anything cause of Rodgers dead (In chapter 2 remember?) and also hes evil now I think.

"L today is the today we become justice!" lolled Light and tried making out on him.

"Yayay" cheered Misa dumbly. "Misas so happy!" she said in third person which is dumb so im not using it any more.

"Oh no" thought L in sadness. "If I don't agree they'l right my name down then I'll be dead"

Then the afro cop came into the room. "Light your dad is off chasing an evil guy so your in charge"

"Okay"

"Also theres some murders on the prowl so don't let them come in or anything"

"OMG" said Misa in a slutty voice. "What did they do?" But afro cop ignored her.

"There names are Matt and Mellow and Near so if they show up just arrest them" Then he left to buy some doughnuts or something.

"What should we do now" wandered Light.

"How about some tv?" said L cause he wanted to watch Cake Boss "That show is lol especially Buddy."

"Ok." This was a good idea to Light because then he could see some dudes to kira. He could of death noted the murderer guys but he didn't now there faces so he needs more dudes to do it with instead. Plus also they might be sexy so he could see if they'd make out with him later. He can do whatever he wants cause his dads a cop and he's the head cop.

Misa turned on the tv but since it was Japan there was only anime on. "Aw man" said Light when he was it was Code Geas.

(AN if you havent seen it its basically an anime about this esxy dude called leloush with a mind control eye and also some dumb sluts I hate like CeCe ugh she sucks and peoples noses are weird looking)

"Ugh this show sucks," complaned Light. "This Leloush guy sucks to" he said as Leloush killed some dudes all sexly with a sword and they died.

"Why?" asked L but not because he though Leloush was sexyd or anything cause he didn't cause he's not gay.

"Hes trying to take over the world and hes just a teen ager. That wouldnt happen" grumped Light but he only said it cause he thought the dudes who made it copied of him. But he couldn't sue them for copywrite infridgement cause then they'd know that hes kira.

They watched for a while and Light tried writing Leloush in his death note but it didn't work cause he's not real. Or is he?

Then "ding dong" said the doorbell. "I'll get it!" Misa ran to open it and tripped over her skanky suedo goth boots and fell on her face got carpet burned and looked even more ugly if that's posible! Then the door opened and they gasped. It was…you have to find out later!

THREE DAYS AGO MORE OR LESS:

"This sucks" whispered Near as they hided in a dumpster so they wouldn't get cought. There were flies and trash and banana peels and fish in there and it smelled bad.

"SHUT UP NEAR! DO YOU WANT TO GET COUGHT BY POLICE!" yelled Mello really loud trying not to touch the slimy fish slime he was sitting on. The fish was all moldy and hairy and that meant it was poisonous and it was gross to. Matt played his video game. "We need a plan" he lolled cause Near had mud stuck to his face and it looked like soichiros mustache only stupider sins it was Near and everything he does is stupid.

"How about we disguise ourselves and find L? He is working with the police, so maybe he can prove our innocence," suggested Near.

"WTF that plan is stupid and is sucks," said Mello and eated some chocolate he found and made a sexy cruch noise with his teeth.

"Can I have some?" asked Near all pathetic so Mello gave him some only it wasn't cholate it was actually cat poop and he and Matt lolled there heads off at Near cause they didn't tell him.

The Mello got all depressed because his hare got dirt on it. "We need a new plan that doesn't suck"

"Don't worry because I have plan and its a good one" lolled Matt punching the lid off the dumpster. Then he told the plan and they got gigantic smiles on there faces. Accept not Near cause he still had cat poop in his mouth!

Then they ran of to do the plan!

AT SOICHIRO'S CAR:

Soichiro was chasing Demikawa around on his motorcycle because he had to double arrest him now. They speeded through Tokyo at 200 miles an hour and went the wrong way and ran through some buildings and smashed into some peeps and didn't use there turn signals. He was about to catch him then he got a flat. "This F-CKING CONTRACEPTION IS USELESS!" light's dad thought with angry.

In the other car Demikawa locked at Soichiro and lolled. "Now hell never catch me," he lolled and ripped off his mask. Cause he was not really Demikawa hes actually…..Mikami! (omg what a twist!) Who was just pretending to be Demikawa so wouldn't get cought!

He saw Soichiro disappeared and lolled even more. "Now my plans will turn to fruit" he said and dialed a mystery number while hes driving and called it. On the other end was…a mystery!

"I have procreated the secret death note!" he yelled waving it around. It was Higuchy's that he lefted in the building and Mikami made a fake one instead and stealed it and pulled the fire alarm soz theyd have to evacuate so he could steal it.

Good.

"Does this mean…" he said but didn't finish cause Soichiro showed up then.

"GOD DARN IT" sweared Soichiro. Then he jumped on his other motorcycle that was more faster and zoomed up like a speedy bullet and jumped over some cars and did a flip.

"Oh sh-t hes onto me," said Mikami and tried to swerve but in stead ran into a pole. "Oh crap" he said into his phone then dropped it. "I'll have to get back to you late" and jumped out the window.

Soichiro drove up onto top of Mikami's car and arrested him. "WHERE IS YOUR LICENCE young man" he boomed in his bestest cop voice that was scary to most peeps but not mikami cause he's a smart ass punk kid.

"I'm sorry officer but I can't give it to you right now" said Mikami. Then he writed "Lights dad dies" in the death note!

TBC

AN: What a cliffhangar! PLEASE GOOD REVIEWS PLEASE!


	5. Chapter 5 some stuff happens

AN: YOU FLAMERS SUCKS! Lets see you write a better story then me! Also this isn't a bout trolls its about Death Note duh! You peeps are to dumb to live!

ALSO WE HAS CHAPTER TITLES NOW! So this chapter is called

Chapter 5 some stuff happens!

I bet you want to find out if Sochiros dead! Well to bad cause not yet!

AT THE POLICE

The doorbell ringed and L went to get it. "NO DON'T because it mite be murderes" said Misa sluttishly. But he didn't car and opened it. It was…three people!

"Top of the day to you my finiest young japany peeps" lolled a dude. He had on a britishy hat like Abe Lincon and a fake beard and had hair that was sort of brown and looked like Light a bit but not (AN don't u think Matt looks like Lights long lost brother? HMM theres an idea).

"Im prince Harry and this is my wif Kat which is British for Kate" Kate had blond hair and was very sexy and looked mad and didn't have a special outfit or anything because she already looked girly enough. "And this is are son Junior hes the royal baby!" Junior had on ones of those spinny propeller hats and white hair and also pajamas cause hes dumb and sitted on the ground.

(AN I no Kate Middletown does not have blond hair but just go with it ok!)

Misa was struck dumber than usual. "Who are you people!" she said and forgetted to slut at them which shows how dumb she is cause believe me there sexy accept junior cause hes a kid and smells

"Were the Britishy royal family" said Kat in a fakey girl voice. "We are just on tour of Japan for the holidays wich is British for vacation and its not like were actually murders or something"

"Of curse come on it" said Light. "We are usually death noting people I mean catching kira but now we are watchin Code Geas"

"That show sucks"

"Yes but Leloush is very sexyd" said L but he didn't actually say that last bit I typed it on accident cause not gay remember! Then he wispered to light "Be careful cause I don't now these people and they might be evil"

"Don't worry I have a plan" said Light.

So the came in and sat on the couch. "Tell me about Britin" said Light sitting on top of L.

"Well ummm there is lots of tea and guvnors with bad teeth there" lolled Harry. "And also we are genuin royal peeps GOD SAVE THE QUEEN who is my granny"

"Do you have any choclate" asked Kate and whipped her hair around to get some dirt out off it and hit Misa in the eye and smuged her make up.

"I'll get some" said Light and went and getted it then came back like ten seconds later. "Don't worry cause its not poisonous or anything!" he said trying not to lol.

"Thanks my good blimy chap" then they eated it and Light writed there names into his death note and they died!

Light did an evil laugh. "That takes care of busness" he lolled. Then the windows smashed open!

IN THE CITY

"NOOOOOO!" said Soichiro and died and Mikami lolled and stealed his segway and zoomed away and writed in the death note which is illegal while driving but not because it was a segway not a car.

"No I can go do my evil plan which is evil and also make out with my bf whose name is LIGHT YAGAMI!"

but little did he now….THAT SOICHIROS NOT ACTUAL DEAD! (AN I was goin to kill him of but didn't want peeps to hate this story cause its sad so I didn't) Mikami didn't now that Soichiros not actually dead because he had an epipen hidden in his mustach. So now hes alive!

"THAT LITTLE SH-t he must die!" said Light's dad and ran to the police in like ten seconds that's how mad he was.

AT THE POLICE AGAIN!

"Give us all your money" lolled Matt and cocked his sawed off at Light and stepped on the bodies that was on the floor. Him and Mello and near were wearing glasses and fake mustachs like Soichiros but fake and no one reconized them.

Light took his death note out of pants. "Okay but first you have to tell me your name" but they didn't cause there not stupid like Misa.

L was smarticle and figured out what was happening. "WTF we just killed you!"

"no that was the actual Britishy royal family you just death noted" said Near hiding behind a couch but noone heard him.

Then a epic fight happened but I don't fell like discribing it cause im not a violent person so I wont. All im gonna saw is Misas nose got broken and she looked even more uglier than before! And Near got death noted so hes dead!

Watari's voice came out off the TV. "What the crumpety sodding JK Rolling!" he said. Then riots started happening all over Britain accept it was british so they called them comotions and people through Molotov cockatiels and some peeps tipped over Big Ben and broke the royal jewels but noone cared since Britain sucks! Accept doctor who but it does now cause the new doctor is old and ugly and sucks so I guess all of it sucks accept one direction because harry is SEXY!

The hole time the fight was going on and some stuff got destroyed like the tv and computers and weapons and guns and L's giant candy piñata that wasn't secret any more cause Mello accidently stabbed it and eated all his chocolate out of it!

Then the door opened and it was…..Matsuda!

SAME PLACE BUT IT WAS TIME FOR A LINE BREAK FOR DRAMA:

"Hi peeps" sang the dumb policy guy. "Im back from Walmart!" He had like twenty shopping bacgs full of stuff but it was boring stuff like milk and doughnuts (cause there police) and toilet paper and a nuclear powered assalt gun soz I guess it wasn't all borin.

He was dumb so didn't notice there was a fight and sat on the couch and turned on the tv. Dr phil was on and they were interviewing Jennifer Laurence. "Aw man I hate her" said Matsuda getting the remote and nearly getting karate chopped by L but he was actually aiming at Matt. But he didn't find it cause the remote had been tramped so he was stuck on the interview with the fat cowish no talent fatty.

"Well im extremely talented and pretty and not fat" bragged Jennifer Laurence brattily and all the peeps in the studio rolled there eyes and Matsuda did to.

"Get real! How do you feel about being the dumbest person on the planet even dumber than misa which is pretty d-mn dumb" said Dr Phil. But then just as Jenifer opened her fat mouth the little weather alert bar thingy came on and started beeping! But it wasn't the weather it was Takadas news network.

"Sorry to interupt scheduled programs (not because who cares about Jennifer Laurence lol) but theres breaking news. "The royal family is…..DEAD!"

"Gasp" said Matsuda. "I wonder who could do such a thing" then he looked around the room and noticed there was epic battle going on!

"WTF" he wtfed and hided behind the couch so wouldn't get punched. Accept the fight was to exciting so he joined in and kicked Misa real hard and she cryed cause shes a wimp! And also he got kataned but lived cause he borrowed an epipen of Mogi whose there to I guess cause hes to dumb to have his own and might epeipen some evil dudes back to life on accident (hint hit foreshading!)

Then…..Soichiro came in!

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS NOSENSE!" he blustered kicking in the door.

The all stopped and looked around all guilty.

"YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF" He sais stepping over the dead peeps on the floor and the broken tv bits and the chandelier wich got smashed to pieces.

He went over to Light and said "Light Amedeus Yagami!" and everyone lolled a bit then stopped cause Soichiros mustach was standing on end and it was scary and also there scared light's dad would say there middle names to.

"How could you do such a thing!" he said and spit got everywhere that's how mad he was.

"IDK dad I'm sorry" said light sheepily. He new he was gonna get punished and probably get his death note taken away or have to clean out the garage.

Then they heard a creepy laugh. And it was…..Mikami!

TBC

….

Im sick so soz if this chapter sucked! JK I no it didn't! GOD REVIEWS PLZ


	6. Chapter 6 revenge of mikami!

Im not a troll (oh yeah I leaned what it means) so plz stop calling me one! I bet im much hotter then you are!

Chapter 6 revenge of mikami!

STILL AT THE POLICE:

I was gonna do a fight scene but I just did one plus we need more romance so Soichiro just arested him and put him in jail but he escaped and every one else went home.

AT LIGHTS HOUSE

Light was in his room doing homework. He was a really smart dude so he got all the answers on the first try and didn't cheat of yahoo answers wich is a good place to get math problems but its not like I do that or anything. He was sitting on his bed lolling at some pics on tumbler cause hes done with algebra. Then a post came up it was Mikamis selfie (from like chapter 3 I think) with like 200000 notes (but not death notes lol)

"Ryuk look at this doush" said Light who was mad cause Mikami looks a bit like L and L wont date him soz hes mad.

Ryuk was very mad because rem didn't like him any more cause shes dating that stupid slutty Misa Aname and also soichiro took away Lights xbox so he couldn't play GTA. He eated an apple madly and it got all over light's bed and his phone but he didn't care.

"I must…go kira him!" said light waving around his death note all mad and dramatic and intensed. "Now!" His eyes got all big and detailed and slanty (AN im not racist they do it when hes kira!)

"Whateves" said Ryuk and bited the apple of Lights computer.

The Lights mom called "LIGHT! DINNER!"

"Coming mom" Aw man I'll have to do it later he thought.

Light got all his weapons but then realised he doesn't need them so he got his death note and put in his death note protector cause hes kind of a nerd and that's why he always wears a tie (ITS TRUE look)

Lights mom and Soichiro and Sayu and Light were all eating dinner boringly and it was a boring dinner with some veggies and protines and sushi cause there in japan and Ryuk was there to accept they cant see him so he was watching TV but there was nothing on not even Code Geas

THERES NOTHING GOING ON HERE SO

AT A HOTEL:

Mello and matt and L were sleeping together in a bed but its just cause they only had one room and it had to beds and noone wanted to share with Near cause he smells accept then they had a pillow fight and Nears bed got destroyed so hes sleeping in the bathtub.

"Time for room service" said L bouncing on the bed like a kiddo buncing on a bed. He ordered like 1000 dollars worth of candy and chocolates and cake and a carrot for Near cause he likes them. They wanted to get rid of Near because he makes them look stupid but couldn't cause he has all the money (like tons of money like in the anime when he made it rain (loll) but it wasn't actual rain it was money he dropped out of the sky or something)

(AN L was just pretending not to recogniz them actually he knew it was them all along! 0: twist :P)

While he was waitin L getted on his phone. "Why wont this f-cking doush leave me alone?" he wandered seeing there were like twenty texts from Light on there. "Doesn't he now Im not gay?" then he played on Angry birds.

Then the room service guy knocked on the door. Only it wasn't a guy it was a girl and she had blonde hair with those layery things in the front and was wearing a maid outfit.

"Here's your food" said room service lady.

"Thank you my good man" said L because he wasn't paying attention or maybe she looked like a man idk anyways and he paid the bill. Only he didnt have enough money cause after the fight at the police station Near made them go to Toys r us and spended all there money so there broke and he couldn't pay the lady.

"That's ok. I will forget it if you let me join your threesome" she said and did a slutty face and looked weirdly at the three dudes sleeping in the bed and stared taking of her clothes.

"We aren't doing it right now!" L lolled because hes not gay and that would never happen. He laughed so hard he got a six pack accept he already has one so he got like a 12 pack and also he woke up Matt and Mello.

"MMMMMMMM" said Near cause he wanted to do it with the lady even though shes ugly and noone likes him but he was locked to the bathroom. "Let me out of her!"

"what was that?"

"Oh nothing" said L and kicked the door until Near shut up. "Probably just the toilet or something"

"Okay" said the lady cause shes a bit dumb. "Now do you want to do it with me in a forsome?"

"That would never happen right Mello" lolled Matt. "Cause were not gay right?"

"WTF Matt!" wtfed Mello cattishly and flipped his hair around and got out of bed and put on some cloths.

The room service lady though he was extremely sexyd so she said "Im bicurious so I will do it with ladies to especially if they are sexy which you are"

"WTF b-tch!" he wtfed. "Im not a lady!" Then he shot her with Matts gun and she dead and they all lolled cause now they didn't have to pay there bill.

AFTER THEY ATE CANDIES sexily

L explaned everything to them about how Light's kira and killed lots of dudes off tv and they need to be stopped at all cost and also about how misa sucks which took like all day especially that last bit so it was dinner time when they were done.

They knew they needed to kill Light but they needed a really good plan that noone could figure out not even Light. They were the three smartest dudes in the world (oh and Near was there to) so they could think of the bestest plan ever but they couldn't.

"Now for our plan" said Mello straightening his hair with a straitener cause they were going out to Mcdonalds and he wanted to put his fashiony face forward or something I don't remember.

"I have a plan" lolled Matt. "And it will be perfect cause my plans always work and never fireback and get me shit by 1000 peeps at once or anything" (get it cause he got shot like 10000 times in the anime but its not funny its sad cause he was all dead and stuff) He took some things out of pants but I don't know what yet but it was cool stuff trust me cause I know accept I don't I guess so maybe it wasn't cool.

Just then some one kicked down there door. They gasped. Mello droped his straightener on Nears head and it set his hair on fire and made a giant fireball and set of the smoke alarms but they didn't care cause…

"Come out of there you sodding wankarses!" said a voice in British. It was…Watari!

BACK AT LIGHTS HOUSE

Dinner was over and they finished all there food. "I'm going out mom" said Light putting on some shoes and a hat.

"Okay dearie don't stay out to late and go to clubs or kill dudes with a notebook or anything cause you have to clean out the garage" said Lights mom.

"Ok mom"

"Also don't kill anyone" said his mom in a mom voice.

Light did an evil laugh. "Ok I will!" he said but his mom didn't hear him cause she was doing the vacuum.

Light went down to street. He didn't say anything but he was doing the internal monolog thingy inside his head and everything was black and gray accept his hair that was red. "I have to kill Mikami…and make L like me…but HOW?" he thought in a loud voice.

Just then a car came. It was black and had medal on the front of it and a licence plate with a picture of light's face on it and some weird people decals that said Light and Mikami on them! It ran right toward Light!

The driver was an evil man with sexy black hair and red eyes and he kept yelling out the window and saying delete! He ran over some peeps and crashed into some stuff but didn't care cause he was to busy yelling delete and also he scarred some pigeons.

"Oh no1" shooted light.

TBC

…

WHOSE IT! YOU HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE! MAYBE IF I GET LOST OF REVIEWS THEN ILL UPDATE TOMORROW MAYBE!

ALSO CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY LEGEND OF SAKURA OF YOU LIKE HUNGER GAMES!


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